So what did your friends tell you? Or more interestingly, what did your folks tell you (or didn't)? Assuming that you're still a virgin, which is why you would be reading this article, then you are most probably in your teens. For those who are already in your twenties (or thirties, god forbid), I must congratulate you on your restraint.

It IS a commendable show of self-control. For those who are just reading this for fun, well, I hope this will help you remember your first time =). First things first: how IS the first time for an average Joe or Jane? Well, for me, it was more the kind of experience that you'd want to forget.

Age and skill notwithstanding, the first time is ALWAYS something you remember, no matter how it was. That's because sexuality is so much a part of us. The first time is considered a monumental moment in one's life.

After all, this single act turns a child into a young adult. For most of my mates, I have found out through the occasional conversation, that their first times weren't all that great either. While some were rather unpleasant experiences, most were simply mediocre.

Of course, there are some who claim to have superb first times, but I'm a little skeptical. Well, if you consider the candles, soft music and a perfect setting as part of the experience, then maybe.

However, I do doubt any boy of 15 can hold it in for more than five minutes for the first time, which can't be very enjoyable for the girl. The point is, the first time is usually not good (especially so for the girl). In fact, I'm here to tell you how it can be better. There is no "one" way to ensure an unforgettable experience, as we realise that different people experience sexuality in different ways and at different ages.

Not everyone's situation allows for these gradual steps into a fully sexual adult. There are records of kids having sex before they turn 12 (child marriages), and more even when they are in their teenage years. And there is the rare person who waits until marriage to start exploring their sexuality (I know of two).

All this notwithstanding, a person's first time is an individual experience, something no one else is able to duplicate. Good or bad, it is one's own, so whatever I'm going to expound upon has no bearings on the above situations, to mean that your first time would be better or worse, compared to theirs. Because there are two people involved in the act of sex, two questions always come to mind when the decision has been made as to when a good time is, to have sexual intercourse.

When you're ready, you will want to know: For the guy: What can I do as a guy to make a girl's "first time" as nice for her as possible? For the girls: What can I (and/or my partner) do, so that when I lose my virginity, it's as unpainful as possible? I'm obliged to insert a warning at this point: Please know that this article is not intended to entice anyone into having sexual intercourse that they are not ready for.

My purpose here is to tell kids (who only know about sex from their inadequate biology text books and TV) who have made their decision, that there are things they should do to get the best possible experience for themselves and the person with whom they have decided to share their body and affection.

So please use this knowledge responsibly. If you are an adolescent considering your first sexual intercourse, it is very important that you read ALL of the information here for the next few weeks. Sex involves definite risks and responsibilities that you should be fully informed about, before you decide to do it..

By Jennifer Tai (from againsthegrain.com)